Dear God is it October already?
Why?
Why?
I’m back, millions of my followers, so stop worrying, sending me tons of
messages and please, please call back the hounds. They scratch my front door
and annoy the hell out of me.
I want to finish the romance novel commentary, this time on the book Untamed, by Nora Roberts. It is by far,
one of the (if not THE) worst books I have ever read. And to that list I
include the ‘’books’’ I tried to write as a teenager, so the bar is pretty high.*
I’m reposting the plot, just in case anyone missed it.
Plot: Jo Wilder had the heart of a lion and the
temper of a wildcat. And when Keane Prescott crossed her path, she bared her
claws (we get it, she is a fierce feline woman). Jo was certain her charming new boss
imperiled everything she cared for, but she couldn't deny the attraction
between them. Though Keane's kisses left her breathless, it was his tenderness
that threatened to tame her heart (cause, you know, she is Untamed).
The book was written in the 80’s and takes place in a traveling circus.
Not a Cirque de Soleil, cute acrobat circus. No. It is a full on, animal show
circus, along with a couple of acrobats.
Cringe. It gets worse.
Jo (whose real fucking name is Jovilette, if you can believe it) is a lion tamer**. She grew up in the circus and inherited her talent from
her father, also a lion
The book opens with the news that the son of the recently deceased
owner, a father figure to them all, will come to inspect his property. He is a
high profile, young, successful Chicago lawyer and everyone in the circus is
unsure about their future. Jo swears her hatred towards that unknown man. While
putting up the main tent for their show, Jo, atop an elephant, spots a handsome
man in the crowd. She talks to him, gives him a ride with her elephant, they
flirt.
DUN DUN DUUUUUN It turns out he is the new owner.
I will not bore you with the flirting details, because, honestly, who
cares. They have chemistry, she hates him, or at least tries to stay honest
with her hate commitments, he is charming and ooooh so very, very painfully
male and he sticks around while trying to decide whether he’ll keep the circus
or not.
I swear to you, the most compelling character was some dude who is a
clown, has a heart of gold and speaks a total of four times.
While Keanan lurks around at the circus, he bonds and aggressively
flirts with Jo. He crosses the line of sexual harassment so many times, it’s
not even funny. The line is a dot to him midway through the book. At some point
Jo (the untamed, brave one) thinks to herself something along the lines of: oh
well, what can I do with his advances, I don’t think I can resist, he is my
boss after all.
The peak of his rapey vibe comes when one of the lions dies of old age,
or of just giving up on life.****** Jo is distraught and something goes wrong
during her torture training session. She gets attacked by one of her
lions, who apparently had it with her. She gets a few cuts, described, very
confusingly, shallow and deep at the same time, and she is in shock etc. Keanan
takes her to her caravan, to tend for her, where she soon falls asleep. She
wakes up, in her bed and wearing her jammies. When she asks him what happened
and why she had no recollection of her falling asleep he blurts out THAT HE PUT
A SLEEPING PILL IN HER DRINK.
HE FUCKING ROOFIED HER.
He drugged her, got her naked and put her to sleep, like a creep. How
can I NOT imagine that he raped her as well? Or maybe he stared at her while
feverishly masturbating.
She asked, why didn’t he ask for her permission and he replies something
along the lines of: You wouldn’t have agreed.
OF COURSE SHE WOULDN’T, YOU FUCKING CREEP.
She meekly accepts that and goes on loving him, while at the same time
being in conflict with herself, since her life is freedom and the circus and
she wouldn’t change it for the world. She really stresses that point when he
decides to go back to his normal life.
IF the book ended there, it would have been the 80s roofie fantasy we
all needed and craved for, where the woman remains intact as a person, and goes
on with her life, taming (sorry, torturing training) her lions*******.
BUT NO.
The book ends with her finding him at his extremely 80’s home (that even
has a white fur rug), and asking him to allow her to become his mistress. She
is willing to leave her life at the circus that she so much loves and swore
would never abandon.
He be like, ok.
The (outrageous) end.
I acknowledge that the book was written in the olden days, but, COME ON.
The sexism, the cringe, the roofie, all of it…
A plus was the fact that she researched circus life and it was depicted
fairly well.
But, COME ON. I would be inclined to forget all the above had she stayed
true to her beliefs and need of freedom. But no, she had to chase the man and
become his mistress (not even his wife, mistress, although he was not married).
Why?
Why?
___________________________________________________
*I shit you not, they were a take on Charmed, with 5 sisters who discovered their
magic powers. I wrote I think 2 and a half books before I realized that is was
extremely shit. I have kept all of it, in its handwritten glory, and I intent
to post some (translated to English) parts.
** She claims lion torturer trainer, which
makes things soooooo much better, I guess.
***I was expecting big, curly hair, given the period it was written, but
I was pleasantly
surprised when I read that Jo had straight hair, escaping the
norm. That was the only pleasant surprise in the book. There were many
unpleasant ones.
**** She speaks like, five languages, so she tries to read books in the
original language they were written.
****** Did I mention that the lions come from Africa, born free and then
captured, only to spend a lifetime in the circus. COME ON Roberts! Make them at
least born in captivity, to ease the fucking blow. Every time the lions were
mentioned, I cringed so hard, I thought my face would freeze like that.
******* Which, by the way, refers to as ‘cats’. Serves her right for
these shallow and deep cuts.
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